. The Goblin January 1922. hich he had written. It was atthat time ( ) that Goblin entering disguisedas an umbrella handle, found him in his bath drinkingmalted milk. Ah, so it is you, said Constant Reader. Seeing that further disguise was useless, Goblinreplied grimly, Yes, tis none other than I. Quietly combing the fleas out of his side-whiskers,Constant Reader spoke briskly but politely: ■ My first great work appeared decades ago in thatfirst news sheet, the London Speculator, MillionsNow Living Will Soon Be Dead. It aroused theprofound contempt of the inmates of the famousSwills Co


. The Goblin January 1922. hich he had written. It was atthat time ( ) that Goblin entering disguisedas an umbrella handle, found him in his bath drinkingmalted milk. Ah, so it is you, said Constant Reader. Seeing that further disguise was useless, Goblinreplied grimly, Yes, tis none other than I. Quietly combing the fleas out of his side-whiskers,Constant Reader spoke briskly but politely: ■ My first great work appeared decades ago in thatfirst news sheet, the London Speculator, MillionsNow Living Will Soon Be Dead. It aroused theprofound contempt of the inmates of the famousSwills Coffee House, and this signal success inspiredme to the effort that gave the world my great treatiseon Race Problems, which up until the recent appear-ance of Sammy Lichtmans Last Minute Bulletinwas the standard turf-guide. The zenith of my fame was not reached until myarticle in the Boston Boast on Ireland for the Eye-talians started the great immigration into Korea fromChina. Since then, basking in the sunlight of public. approval, I have rapidly warmed to my duties. Everypaper in the Fourth Estate, including the New Or-leans Nutkrust, Chicago Babune, le Journal Confus-ant, Jerusalem Daily Jewspaper, Neggendorfer Deut-sche Klenser, La Messe (Montreal), Toronto Telia-crime, and others whose names are legion, have featur-ed works over my name. Many magazines also have been recipients of myefforts, where my cool logical views rivalled only intheir breadth of thought by the concentrated lucidityof an intoxicated cod-fish, greet you on every was it or was it not Gladstone or Charlie Chaplinwho said: Tis better to have loved and bust,Than never to have been this he bade a courteous farewell, and pullingthe plug was washed down the transit Gloria Swanson. Goblin


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