After dinner stories by famous men : . Famous ^Men 113 How fur to Salt Lake? Three hundred miles. Humph! Travelled far? About two hundred miles. Get your jaw hurt? Xo. Its just an infernal toothache, and Ima-riding five hundred miles to get it pulled. He was invited down, and one of the crowd gota piece of string round the tooth and jerked it outas slick as you please. After the overjoyed manhad ceased dancing about, the young camperqueried, Why didnt you try the string before startingout on such a long ride? Best kind of reason, sir, I hadnt nary astring. F. HOPKIXSOX SMITH, painter, author,


After dinner stories by famous men : . Famous ^Men 113 How fur to Salt Lake? Three hundred miles. Humph! Travelled far? About two hundred miles. Get your jaw hurt? Xo. Its just an infernal toothache, and Ima-riding five hundred miles to get it pulled. He was invited down, and one of the crowd gota piece of string round the tooth and jerked it outas slick as you please. After the overjoyed manhad ceased dancing about, the young camperqueried, Why didnt you try the string before startingout on such a long ride? Best kind of reason, sir, I hadnt nary astring. F. HOPKIXSOX SMITH, painter, author, engi-neer and professional optimist, tells a story showingthat Boston boys of tlie street are like all overheard a conversation between two young-sters selling papers. Say, Harry, wats dc best way to teach a girlhow to swim? asked tlie younger one. Dats a cincli. First off you puts yer left armunder her waist and you gently takes her lefthand — Come off, shes me sister. Ow, j)usli her off de dock. 114 After Dinner wStories. GOVERNOR H. , of Virginia,tells of a j)roiniiUnt busi-ness man of his lionietown who is also an en-thusiastic sportsman butwho has the reputation ofbeing a very bad long ago the Govern-or was one of a number^»»a^ •—^ w-ho was invited to dine ^^B -•^^^p^ with the sportsman, andafter dinner he showedthe guests a target paint-ed on a high fence, witha bullet directly in thecentre of the he vowed he shot at a distance of 1000 story was accepted as a huge joke, until heoffered to bet new hats for the crowd on it. This,of course, aroused our interest sufficiently for oneof the party to accept the wager. He produced twowitnesses who Avere well-known to all of us andwhose veracity we could not doubt. Since the} bothunhesitatingly stated that he had done what heclaimed, he won his bet. The loser made good on the hats, and as we wereretracing our steps homeward the host was askedhow he managed to fire such


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Keywords: ., bookcentury1900, bookdecade1910, booksubjectamericanwitandhumor