Deportmental ditties : and other verses . er!The story is, of course, was a tea-pot that I threw. Tis also false, I do declare, That (as the papers said on Monday)I seized my hostess by the hair,At luncheon in Cadogan Square,And hurled her headlong down the stair, Last dragged her down one flight, I fell the other five, alone. 102 THE MARTYRDOM OF FASHION (The Dirge of the Directoire Dress, by Mademoiselle Belle-Eel.) When Worth and Paquin plan and plot Designs and fashion-plates fantastic,Heedless of those whose forms are not Particularly plastic,They little know wh
Deportmental ditties : and other verses . er!The story is, of course, was a tea-pot that I threw. Tis also false, I do declare, That (as the papers said on Monday)I seized my hostess by the hair,At luncheon in Cadogan Square,And hurled her headlong down the stair, Last dragged her down one flight, I fell the other five, alone. 102 THE MARTYRDOM OF FASHION (The Dirge of the Directoire Dress, by Mademoiselle Belle-Eel.) When Worth and Paquin plan and plot Designs and fashion-plates fantastic,Heedless of those whose forms are not Particularly plastic,They little know what pain they causeBy disregarding Natures laws. Huge hats upon my head repose, A whalebone collar cramps my throttle,My patient shoulders slope, like those Of any Perrier bottle;And now, to please Parisian taste,Ive got to sacrifice my waist! Time was when, in the Empire style,I wore it round my neck—or it descended. For a while I pinched it most now, when it is slim and small,I may not have a waist at all! 103. Deportmental Ditties Confined within a chiffon sheath, My knees securely tied together,With very little underneath To shield me from the weather,My misery does not decreaseWith the approach of the police ! To suit a tailors idle whim, My helpless frame is shaped and moulded ;With silken fetters every limb Is hobbled and Worth, 0 Paquin, must my hipsEndure a permanent eclipse ? I cannot walk, I cannot sit; My figure, altered and amended,Is not, to say the least of it, As Providence , who can view without compassionThis modern Martyrdom of Fashion? 104 IF ! (The reflections of a proud but inipoverised nobleman, after Qg Messrs. Coll offer of £60,000 for the Georges Morot in his billiard-room.) If I had £60,000, How happy I should be !With neither cares nor silver hairs, Heart-whole and fancy free !Id live at ease, by sunlit seas, Where luxury abounds,If only I had £60,000 ! If I had £60,000, In some provincial shire,Whe
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