Life sketches and faith work . ing my life, for the fortj^-five years I had been aprofessed Christian and minister of the gospel; reviewed my dif-ferent pastorates, in my relations to them, almost family by I discovered mistakes, or errors of judgments, I treatedthem as such, but sins, I called by their right name, and Iimplored Gods forgiveness. God, however, seemed far away, andas an austere judge, whose ear for mercy I could not gain. I wasunder the law. I placed myself under the most searching pas-sages of Scripture, and prayed God to let them penetrate me. Oneof them was, If t
Life sketches and faith work . ing my life, for the fortj^-five years I had been aprofessed Christian and minister of the gospel; reviewed my dif-ferent pastorates, in my relations to them, almost family by I discovered mistakes, or errors of judgments, I treatedthem as such, but sins, I called by their right name, and Iimplored Gods forgiveness. God, however, seemed far away, andas an austere judge, whose ear for mercy I could not gain. I wasunder the law. I placed myself under the most searching pas-sages of Scripture, and prayed God to let them penetrate me. Oneof them was, If the salt has lost its savor, it is henceforth goodfor nothing. This seemed applicable to me. I dwelt not forcomfort, upon the more successful portions of my ministry, butrather upon the unfavorable and questionable. During these longmonths, I received no evidence that the hand of the Lord was lifted,but that he seemed to press more and more sorely upon me, untildeath, with its consequences, seemed rather to be desired Plate No. 1. The place where Elder Raymond was Healed. ELDER W. G. RAYMOND. 83 On the 8th of Oct. 1882, I made with my pencil a figurezero. As my eye unconsciously fell upon it, I said, Yes, Lord,nothing from nothing, leaves nothing, and I felt there was nothingleft for me but death, and fell over on the bed in utter despair, andthere turned to and fro till morning, for sleep departed from had no tears to shed, for the fountain of my tears was could not have shed a tear, had I learned that all of my childrenhad died in one night. The next morning I left my room, resolvedto go into the woods and remain there until I should either die orget a victory. Just what the needed victory was I did not com-prehend. I placed the key on the outside of the door, so any onecould enter should I never return. I suppose I took an extra por-tion of opium, for in the course of two or three hours, I reachedthe woods, just north of the cit3^ Kneeling in sever
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