Said in fun . (to applicant for service)—How many nights out aweek ? Applicant—None, mum. Oi niver sthir out. Mistress—Will you have many friends to see you ? Applicant—Nat wan, mum. Oi have no friends. Mistress—What wages will you expect: Applicant -Oill lave that to ye, muuL Mistress—What kinds of housework are you willing for ? Applicant—Oim wullin to wash an airun an cook an schruban clane windys an wait on table an take care av childeran carry in coal an build foires—(Here a loud ringingwas heard at the door, and the keeper of an asylumrushed in and secured the lunatic.) BETTER THAN NOTHI
Said in fun . (to applicant for service)—How many nights out aweek ? Applicant—None, mum. Oi niver sthir out. Mistress—Will you have many friends to see you ? Applicant—Nat wan, mum. Oi have no friends. Mistress—What wages will you expect: Applicant -Oill lave that to ye, muuL Mistress—What kinds of housework are you willing for ? Applicant—Oim wullin to wash an airun an cook an schruban clane windys an wait on table an take care av childeran carry in coal an build foires—(Here a loud ringingwas heard at the door, and the keeper of an asylumrushed in and secured the lunatic.) BETTER THAN NOTHING. Woman (to tramp—Would you like another hot biscuit ?Tramp—You can give me one more if you like, but 1 amafraid thev are awfully indigestible. 73 AN EYE TO ECONOMY. WOUNG HUSBAND—1 believe 1 should like a nice turtleI steak for Wife (of a thrifty disposition)—1 am afraid turtle steaks are rather expensive, dear. Wouldnt you be satisfied with a mock-turtle steak ? 74 >. THE ONE WHO CELEBRATES. RS. B—How is the contested will case coming on. MrShimmer ? M Mr. Shimmer—It s all settled, and in my favor. Mrs. B—I congratnlate you. 1 suppose you will be taking your family to Europe now ?Mr. Shimmer—No : but 1 understand my lawyer sails next week. THE REASON WHY. Small boy No. i (to small boy No. 2, who is strutting aroundwith his hands in his pockets)—Come over and playwith me. Johnny ! ask your mother if you cant. Cant ask her: shes out somewheres looking for me. THOROUGHLY PREPARED. Young iiian, said a revivalist, solemnly, do you feel thatyou are prepared to answer the summons at any mo-ment ? l)o you realize that when you go to bed atnight you may be called before the morning dawns ? Oh, yes, sir. Im night clerk in :i drugstore, anallyouve got to do is to keep on the bell until youhe:ir me holk-r. 76 WASTEFUL BUT what nil awful lot o money these hif(h-toned travelerswaste for drink, said Uncle Abner, as he laid d
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Keywords: ., bookcentury1800, bookdecade1880, booksubjectamericanwitandhumor
