Outing . I was accused and tried for conspiracy. No, they didnt kill me, but they doneme much worse. I was condemned tohave my whiskers pulled out with pincers,every last hair of em. Do you fathomwhat that meant? With a face as cleanas a billiard ball I was no longer fit to bewith men. I was disrated, cast out, dis-honored, fit only to do wimmins they made me do it. It was that crstarve. They put me to work in the laun-dry, doing up the royal whisker-coverswhat was put on by the King and his Cabi-net at night, same as we use is things worse than death, just asthe Good
Outing . I was accused and tried for conspiracy. No, they didnt kill me, but they doneme much worse. I was condemned tohave my whiskers pulled out with pincers,every last hair of em. Do you fathomwhat that meant? With a face as cleanas a billiard ball I was no longer fit to bewith men. I was disrated, cast out, dis-honored, fit only to do wimmins they made me do it. It was that crstarve. They put me to work in the laun-dry, doing up the royal whisker-coverswhat was put on by the King and his Cabi-net at night, same as we use is things worse than death, just asthe Good Book says that the bite of anungrateful son is more grievous than thesting of a serpent. The unfortunate parent let his head sinkbetween his shoulders like a mournful oldbird on its roost, and wiped one beadyeye with the cuff of his sleeve. Doomed to wander whiskerless overthe face of the earth was I, he went on,though I wasnt allowed to wander toany extent. Humiliations was heaped i66 The Outing Magazine. The king used to saunter down to the laundry and laughin his bushy beard. upon me, fulland overflow-ing. The Kingused to saunterdown to thelaundry and siton a tub carvedfrom a solid logand laugh in hisbushy beard tillthe tears randown into itand hung therelike and yearsand ages andages I toiled inthis disgustinmanner andthere was nobalm nor whis-ker-restorer inGilead for thewreck of whathad once beenthe high-step-pin and proud-spirited Lemuel Wilkins. At last I escaped from them was in a Dutch gun-boat that discoveredthe island and sent a boat in shore to chartthe reefs. Disguised as a tubful of wash-ing I made my way to the beach by nightand swum off to the Dutchmen. If therehad been one red-whiskered man aboardthe vessel, Id ha made a desperate at-tempt to lead a rebellion with him andupset the ruling dynasty. But there wasno such luck, and they landed me in Ba-tavia without a penny, yes, even poorerby the length of my whiskers than when Ihad been
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Keywords: ., bookcentury1800, bookdecade, booksubjectsports, booksubjecttravel
