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Deportmental ditties : and other verses . h local bye-election,Where the voters hurl with vigour Rotten eggs in your direction,Though the hooligans half-kill you, Recollect with satisfactionThat some manager will bill you As a Popular Attraction. If you vanish in the offing, Leaving motor-cars behind you,Till reporters, rudely scoffing, In some Highland fastness find you,99 Deportmental Ditties Let the salary content youEach dramatic agent offers For permission to present youTo a nightly crowd of scoffers. But suppose, in hour of danger, Thoughts of self and safety quelling,You should rescue f
Deportmental ditties : and other verses . h local bye-election,Where the voters hurl with vigour Rotten eggs in your direction,Though the hooligans half-kill you, Recollect with satisfactionThat some manager will bill you As a Popular Attraction. If you vanish in the offing, Leaving motor-cars behind you,Till reporters, rudely scoffing, In some Highland fastness find you,99 Deportmental Ditties Let the salary content youEach dramatic agent offers For permission to present youTo a nightly crowd of scoffers. But suppose, in hour of danger, Thoughts of self and safety quelling,You should rescue friend or stranger From a wreck or burning dwelling,Oh, be resolute, I pray you, Let no bribes your purpose soften,And when managers waylay you, Kick them hard and long and often! For it must make quite a few sick, When the playbills, week by week, showThat each Hall of so-called Music Is debased into a Freak-show!When the last exploited hero Fills the programme (as we skim it),Down our spirits drop to zero, And we cry This is the Limit!:. 100 EXAGGERATION (Mrs. Pankhurst has written to the papers to say that the Suffragettes imprisonedat Holloway for breaking windows have never bitten the wardresses. It appears thatthey only kicked them.) What taradiddles people tell! What lies the Press delights in writing !No Suffragettes, condemned to dwellIn Holloways most noisome cell,Has ever made a wardress yell By me, this is not the case,They only kicked her in the face. It fires my wrath, it stirs my gall, To note how fibs are manufactured !Twas not by Suffragettes at allThat, during their bi-weekly brawl,The office windows in Whitehall Were fractured !They threw the bricks—but let that pass—It was the bricks that broke the glass. 101 G Deportmental Ditties How people do exaggerate ! One fable soon begets another !For instance, I have heard folks stateThat they had seen me throw a dumb-bells, and a paper-weight At Mother!The story is, of course,
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