Deportmental ditties : and other verses . hastily condemn My husbands nightly frolic;For I admit, in any case,That John is never commonplace. And when he feels a trifle blue, For some good reason or another,And beats me with a billiard-cue(Till I acquire the selfsame hue), Or throws the lamp at Mother,In his behaviour I can traceNo symptoms of the commonplace. Poor John, as no one will deny, Is not meticulously moral,But though he often blacks my eye,And daily drinks the cellar dry, And loves to pick a quarrel,He has, at least, the saving graceOf never being Wedded Genius Wt, wh
Deportmental ditties : and other verses . hastily condemn My husbands nightly frolic;For I admit, in any case,That John is never commonplace. And when he feels a trifle blue, For some good reason or another,And beats me with a billiard-cue(Till I acquire the selfsame hue), Or throws the lamp at Mother,In his behaviour I can traceNo symptoms of the commonplace. Poor John, as no one will deny, Is not meticulously moral,But though he often blacks my eye,And daily drinks the cellar dry, And loves to pick a quarrel,He has, at least, the saving graceOf never being Wedded Genius Wt, when 1 view Mm: placid lives ()f oouples dull and donderheaded, And uolc what trials Pate contrives For us less fortunate of wivesThat are to genius wedded,I covet—though I know tis base—A husband who is commonplace. How gratefully could I be blind (Not blind like John, but blind like Cupid;To all deficiencies of mind,If Providence to me assignd A husband kind but stupid ;The future I could bravely face,If only John were commonplace !. 83 RING OFF THE OLD ! RING UP THE NEW ! (Dedicated to telephone operators.) Faik Operator, you whose tones abruptMy stock of patience palpably diminished, Who loved each private talk to interrupt,Inquiring prematurely Have you finished? Cutting me off, with little hesitation, Eight in the middle of an assignation. No more, without apologies, upset (By false alarms) my hours of beauty slumber;No more, without expressions of regret, Contrive to give your client the wrong number ;Nor pitch your passion at the height of fever,When he forgets to hang up the receiver ! The postal clerks from whom we purchase stampsOf natural politeness show no traces ; They treat their trembling customers like tramps,And put us very quickly in our places; And as beneath their scorn we wilt and shrivel, We cannot justly call their service Civil ! 84 Ring off the Old! Ring up the New! But you, at your Exchange, ore not like these; From suofa Indictments let as, pray, e
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