My quest for God . hest life come to the lowest, whenill-conditioned and misunderstood. If Sanity has come to be the fullest term that I can use toexpress my ideal of the fullest human life, including the ChristianHoliness, and so much more beside, the reader will now under-stand. But doubtless I use the word with a completeness ofmeaning all my own, including in it all forms of the developmentof human powers, nothing omitted, all organised into a hierarchyof bodily and spiritual affections and energies, culminating in theattainment of the consciousness of the indwelling love and energyof God.
My quest for God . hest life come to the lowest, whenill-conditioned and misunderstood. If Sanity has come to be the fullest term that I can use toexpress my ideal of the fullest human life, including the ChristianHoliness, and so much more beside, the reader will now under-stand. But doubtless I use the word with a completeness ofmeaning all my own, including in it all forms of the developmentof human powers, nothing omitted, all organised into a hierarchyof bodily and spiritual affections and energies, culminating in theattainment of the consciousness of the indwelling love and energyof God. Of course such a conception of life beggars any termI may use. Let the reader avoid limiting my conception by myterm. If he have come to the same sense of the fulness of life,and to the same consciousness of its perfect union in God,though by another road than mine, let him use another term ifhe choose, and not quarrel about terms, declaring that my idealis lower than his because, for instance, I do not use here a. To face p. 58. PHYSICAL COLLAPSE. 59 Christian word. Such a man has not yet learned the mysteryof language and the mastery thereof; limiting realities by terms,so that he puts terms in the place of things ; not understandingthe patience and magnanimity needed towards finite words whenused to express infinite thoughts. At this crisis in my life, which need not be taken too seriously,I was saved in the very nature of things by my perfect confidencein the woman 1 loved. With a thoroughness that was charac-teristic of me, I simply placed in her lap the poison I had all the difficulties that had beset our relationship,no shadow had fallen between us; and her action at this timejustified wholly my perfect faith in her judgment and her now, at last, she was beginning to love me with a love likemy own—now, when our fate decreed that we must part. For it was clear that, for such a condition as mine, only drasticremedies could avail. With the
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