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Deportmental ditties : and other verses . poses of casual conversation, You should always keep your mouth shut when you chew,For the processes of oral mastication Are not suitable for popular review;And it shows a lack of manners or of breeding To make noises like an infant with the croup,Or adopt a loud and blatant mode of feeding,When ingurgitating soup. Then, again, we do not need to be instructedThat our victuals must not ever be inhaled, And that no one who is properly conductedWill be guilty of the scandal thus entailed, When a burst of unpremeditated laughter Sends the glass of rare old
Deportmental ditties : and other verses . poses of casual conversation, You should always keep your mouth shut when you chew,For the processes of oral mastication Are not suitable for popular review;And it shows a lack of manners or of breeding To make noises like an infant with the croup,Or adopt a loud and blatant mode of feeding,When ingurgitating soup. Then, again, we do not need to be instructedThat our victuals must not ever be inhaled, And that no one who is properly conductedWill be guilty of the scandal thus entailed, When a burst of unpremeditated laughter Sends the glass of rare old port that you imbibe Coursing lungwards—and the scene that follows afterTwere not fitting to describe! Let me tell you of my favourite Aunt Anna, Who {though eighty) is alert and full of fun ;She inhaled the greater part of a banana, When at luncheon once I chanced to make a in vain the doctors probed and ordered massage, My relation is deprived of half a lung,For the plantain in her pulmonary passageIs imbedded like a bung!34. 35 Deportmental Ditties
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