Deportmental ditties : and other verses . upon yourplate—When the handles will be smeared with greaseand gravy—Or retain them in your clutches while you wait ?0 my Headers, pray be open to persuasion, And admit (what I have preached for manyyears)That the knife and fork, on evry such occasion,Should be placed behind the ears. If asparagus or artichokes be handed, Do not view them with a terror-stricken eye, Nor permit yourself a coward to be brandedBy allowing such a dish to pass you by. Evry stick (or leaf), when dipt in melted butter,Should be held between the finger-tips with grace, And the
Deportmental ditties : and other verses . upon yourplate—When the handles will be smeared with greaseand gravy—Or retain them in your clutches while you wait ?0 my Headers, pray be open to persuasion, And admit (what I have preached for manyyears)That the knife and fork, on evry such occasion,Should be placed behind the ears. If asparagus or artichokes be handed, Do not view them with a terror-stricken eye, Nor permit yourself a coward to be brandedBy allowing such a dish to pass you by. Evry stick (or leaf), when dipt in melted butter,Should be held between the finger-tips with grace, And then flung, without a tremor or a flutter, Through the port-hole of your face. Never scatter bits of food upon your clothing ; Never harbour mashed potatoes in your beard ;You will find that people gaze at you with loathing, If some spinach to your eyebrow has of all (I mean it kindly, Gentle Reader),If you cannot keep your fingers off a bone—If, in fact, you are a gross or careless feeder—You had better feed alone ! 36. No. POLITENESS Politeness is a useful art Which all should cultivate with zest;It mollifies the hardest heart, And soothes the savage breast;And even villains seem all right Who smile and smile and are—polite!
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