Harper's New Monthly Magazine Volume 139 June to November 1919 . VIT and NOBLE A. CA Til CAR T T\0 you want a life of bliss?Do you covet Fortunes kiss?Is it happiness you miss?Join the merry BolsheviksAnd handle things like this: Perhaps the ice-mans too attentive to your wife at home—Thats simple! From a window drop a trunk upon his dome!Suppose a chatty barber slips and cuts your tender chin—Just grab a handy razor and eradicate his grin. (Chorus) Slish! Slash! Another one is hash! Its great to be Bolsheviki! Your pocketbook is empty and you havent got a cent?Assassinate the landlord; hell f
Harper's New Monthly Magazine Volume 139 June to November 1919 . VIT and NOBLE A. CA Til CAR T T\0 you want a life of bliss?Do you covet Fortunes kiss?Is it happiness you miss?Join the merry BolsheviksAnd handle things like this: Perhaps the ice-mans too attentive to your wife at home—Thats simple! From a window drop a trunk upon his dome!Suppose a chatty barber slips and cuts your tender chin—Just grab a handy razor and eradicate his grin. (Chorus) Slish! Slash! Another one is hash! Its great to be Bolsheviki! Your pocketbook is empty and you havent got a cent?Assassinate the landlord; hell forget about the rent!Or if the boss gets in a grouch and takes away your job,Pick up a near-by letter-press and bounce it off his knob. (Chorus) Slish! Slash! etc. Perchance a waiter tries to cheat in adding up your check—Select a nice sharp salad-fork and stick it in his if on earth these simple hints dont seem to work out well,Just plant a bomb beneath Old Nick and start in raising Hell! (Chorus) Slish! Slash! etc. 142 HARPERS MONTHLY MAGAZINE. Ambitious AlbertA MOBILE man tellsof this conversationbetween two darkies ofthat town: Al, I heahs yo wascourtin dat Morgan galdown my way. I sho was. An Iwas in love with dat gal,too; only I heahs latershe aint got a cent. SoI says to mahsef: Al,be a man/ An I was aman, Bill, I was a man;an now I passes her bywith silent contempt. The Bargain Instinct She: Maybe we can buy one ofcheap after they get a little Apologies Never To LateMRS. TANSEY, a nervous and inexperi-enced hostess, rose hurriedly as one ofher guests finished the song she was singing. Ladies and—er—er—gentlemen, saidshe, nervously clutching at the side of hergown, before Miss Jepson began she askedme to apologize for her voice, but I omittedto do so—er—so—er—I apologize now! those kittensshop-worn Foresight A HARD-WORKING farmer in Ohio hadsent his son to a good school of music sothat he might receive the best instruction fromthe beginning.
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