Comments on the end of his relationship with Mary Bilton. Transcription: during the evening at Steward Sanchez yesterday learnt that the ?ǣHenry Hudson ? had arrived, so this morning going thither he returned with a letter from his brother Will [Sanchez], divers prints and pictures; a ?ǣPunch, ? a Banbury Guardian (with a Sonnet of George [Bolton] ?s in ?t, and a big tin can containing a mince pie and unlimited ginger-cakes, for me, (the latter being a present from our servant Alice.) A letter in ?t from my Mother [Naomi Butler Gunn], also a Christmas Carol from Rosa. / [William] Barth called
Comments on the end of his relationship with Mary Bilton. Transcription: during the evening at Steward Sanchez yesterday learnt that the ?ǣHenry Hudson ? had arrived, so this morning going thither he returned with a letter from his brother Will [Sanchez], divers prints and pictures; a ?ǣPunch, ? a Banbury Guardian (with a Sonnet of George [Bolton] ?s in ?t, and a big tin can containing a mince pie and unlimited ginger-cakes, for me, (the latter being a present from our servant Alice.) A letter in ?t from my Mother [Naomi Butler Gunn], also a Christmas Carol from Rosa. / [William] Barth called. Evening Homer Hall, Cross and Bradley whist playing. 7. Friday. Drawing [John N.] Genin ?s caps. Mr John ?s called in the afternoon. Evening drawing and converse for a time with Cross and Bradley. / All this worries and wearies me to the last degree. I am lonely, heartsick and melancholic to the last degree. I feel as though I had naught to live for now, naught to hope; as though all was over now. I think of her [Mary Bilton] now with a blind, impatient despairing sorrow, as though she were transformed to another creature. The Ghost of my past Love haunts me. I can now, sitting here, alone, (save for the scratch of Alf Waud ?s pen) conjure up, the ?ǣOffice ? at Kings Road with all its minute detail, her face, her dress, her looks and words, my own hopes and jealousies; all ? with a strange sort of pity and sympathy for my boy-self as though I were another person. Oh [word crossed out], I did love her most dearly, [words crossed out]. All over. ? Never More, Never More! 8. Saturday. In doors till evening, and then through the sleet and rain [word crossed out] to the Era Office. [Thomas] Picton not there, so imbibed a glass of ale with Atwood, left and to Duane Street and Holts [168 Duane St.]. Found Mr [Henry] Hart, Dillon [Mapother], Smith O ?Brien, [Thomas] Fogarty and others seated not round a stove but a cheerful fire in a grate, a recent innovation. Sate in converse
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