Deportmental ditties : and other verses . Never ask your Uncle Moses If the colour of his nose isArtificial, manufactured, or inherited. When your elderly Aunt Lizzie Is unusually busy,Do not badger her with booby-traps unmerited. (If you soak her wig in whiskey, Twill insure her feeling flustered; But to make her really frisky You should fill her boots with mustard.) Hold your tongues, if you are able, More especially at table,Which is not the place for juvenile loquacity. Grown-up folks are kittle cattle, And they tire of childish prattleUnredeemed by any symptoms of sagacity. If it lies twi
Deportmental ditties : and other verses . Never ask your Uncle Moses If the colour of his nose isArtificial, manufactured, or inherited. When your elderly Aunt Lizzie Is unusually busy,Do not badger her with booby-traps unmerited. (If you soak her wig in whiskey, Twill insure her feeling flustered; But to make her really frisky You should fill her boots with mustard.) Hold your tongues, if you are able, More especially at table,Which is not the place for juvenile loquacity. Grown-up folks are kittle cattle, And they tire of childish prattleUnredeemed by any symptoms of sagacity. If it lies twixt you and Father To provide your guests with chatter, Please remember they would ratherThat you left it to the latter! 18 No. THE CHOICE OF A PROFESSION. After leaving school or college, with the scanty stock of knowledgeWhich a popular academy provides,You can take a hand at poker, swell the chorus ata smoker,Kick a football, and do other things besides ;And, in spite of contradiction, you may cherish theconviction—A conviction which I shortly hope to shatter—That the choice of a profession, if effected with dis-cretion, Is a simple sort of matter. For the youthful and the active there is nothing more attractive Than the soldiers gay and glittering attire ;But before you join the Service, pray be certain that your nerve is Fully fitted to support you under fire,And dont let your comrades find you, with your weapons cast behind you, Drawing courage from a surreptitious flagon,Having sought for safety quickest where the bullets were the thickest, In the ammunition wagon !19 Deportmental Ditties If your love of disputation makes you fancy thevocation Of those gentlemen who practise at theBar,You will find, at the beginning, that the
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